Traveling salesman joke

A traveling salesman approached an old farmhouse and noticed the strange behavior of the couple inside. The woman was running the lawn mower over the carpet and the man had one hand dipped in a fish bowl and was playing with himself with the other. The salesman assumed they were crazy and moved on.
 
After he'd finished his pitch at the next farmhouse, he mentioned what he'd just seen.
 
"Oh, those folks ain't crazy," the farmer said, "They're both deaf mutes. She was telling him to mow the lawn, and he was telling her to mow it herself because he was going fishing."

Another Traveling salesman jokeA travelling salesman was out in the country one evening and wasn't sure how to get back to the main highway.  He came upon a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.
 "Sure," said the farmer. "I've got some beans and cornbread on the stove, but I've only got one bed, so you'll have to sleep with me."
 
The salesman was very grateful.  So they had dinner and went to bed early. The salesman was used to keeping late hours and couldn't get to sleep.  His tossing and turning was keeping the farmer awake so the farmer finally suggested they play football. The salesman didn't understand.
 
"Here's how it works," said the farmer. "Everytime you fart, it's a touchdown." The salesman thought it sounded fun, and they started playing. The salesman took an immediate lead, with the farmer struggling to squeeze even one out.  Finally he felt one coming on and he strained and grunted and strained and grunted...and let a big wet one rip all over his side of the bed.
 
"What will we do now?" exclaimed the salesman.

"Halftime. Switch sides."