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You Know You're In Alaska When... 4

you take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists.
you know that the term "Break Up" has more to do with the weather than personal relationships.
your monthly phone bill is larger than your house payment.
there is a bottle of Avon's Skin-So-Soft in your tackle box.
you don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler.
you have ever taken a trip "outside" and tried to cash a traveler's check drawn on an Alaskan bank, and the cashier asked you the current exchange rate in Alaska.
you have ever washed your car while there was still snow on the ground.
you have ever power-washed your car by parking driver's side into the rain in the morning, and passenger side into the rain in the afternoon. (a Dutch Harbor thing)
you have tennis elbow but have never played tennis, just snagged a lot of salmon.
you know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey. (If you don't know, don't ask)
you know that the Rat Net is not a rodent-catching device.
you know the Naknek twitch is an illegal fishing technique, not a spasmodic muscle in your neck.
you travel for two days to get outside but none of your family members will travel more than two minutes to visit you.
you learned to swim indoors.
you leave your Christmas lights up, year round, because as soon as it gets warm enough to take them down it starts getting dark enough to put them up again.
your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil.
you had waffle soles put on your cowboy boots.
your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill.
you know that a "handi-man-jack" is a device designed to lift a car to change a flat, not a guy named Jack that comes around your house on Saturdays to repair minor problems.
you know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions, not correcting fluid for typos.
State jokes and humor, relating to specific states and regions of the United States.

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