What not to say to the nice policeman

What not to say to the nice policeman: I pay your salary!

What not to say to the nice policeman: Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

What not to say to the nice policeman: I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

What not to say to the nice policeman: Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector was unplugged.

What not to say to the nice policeman: Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!